…at least I hope. Apparently 2010 just wasn’t the year for holidays for our family. As I sit here and write this, a million things are going through my head. In the last few months, I’ve thought a lot about the past and future of this blog. I wonder if, after weeks (maybe even months by this point) of inactivity, you’ve all forgotten about me and made the decision to stop following a seemingly defunct blog. And while I’ve never been the type to try to come up with excuses for things, I find myself coming up with reasons why it’s okay that I haven’t blogged since the holiday season started. But the truth is, things have just been down right shitty since the holiday season started.
I thought that making the decision to give up Newman was tough (I certainly spent many days and nights wondering if we made the right decision, crying over our loss and wondering if life would ever be the same) and that life would somehow get back to normal. It was tough and it was emotional, but life did return to normal. But, normalcy didn’t last for long.
It’s still hard to believe what I’m about to type, but I figure now’s as good a time as any…. Two weeks ago, after over a year-long battle with cancer and a trying last few weeks, my Grandpa passed away. Thankfully, we were able to spend the holiday season as a family. We were able to sit around his hospital bed talking about old memories and joking about years past, trying to avoid the thought of the inevitable. My Grandpa was an amazing man. He served in the United States Marine Corps for over 20 years, he was a New York City police officer and he was the epitome of a family man. But most of all, he was simply my Grandpa. He spoiled me like any grandparent would do and he treated me like I was the only person in the world. He loved food more than anything else (sometimes even more than me), and I was lucky enough to cook for him on many occasions. He’s part of the inspiration behind my cooking and behind this blog.
As I’m sure most of you know, losing a loved one is obviously not easy. I’ve never lost someone this close to me before, and I’m not exactly sure how to cope with it. But I’m doing what I know is best for me and what feels right to me, and luckily I’ve got an amazing husband and wonderful family to support me. And one thing I know for sure is that the spirit of my Grandpa will never die. There’s just way to many memories to forget about him. Plus, I know if we tried to forget, he’s give us all hell about it. :)
For the sake of my health and sanity, I pray to God this is the last depressing news I have to deliver. I can’t wait to get back to normal — no worries, just every day life, cooking, photographing and blogging. I’m making a late New Year’s resolution (probably only to break it, since that’s how resolutions work) to get back to blogging on a regular schedule. And…if I’m lucky, maybe improve my photography skills a little. I need it for myself, and I need it for those of you who’ve stuck around through the last few months. So…here’s to a new year and new beginnings. I adore you all, so thank you from the bottom of my heart for understanding through this difficult time.
Love you Grandpa, miss you tons. From here on out, every post on this blog is for you.